Apr. 11th, 2012 12:08 pm
sonneillonv: (Kill with my gun)
The state has fixed our insurance status! We are now covered! The pharmacy, after much finagling, managed to figure out how to get our very confused insurance status to cover Husband's meds! Husband is currently on his way to pick up precious, precious Seroquel!

sonneillonv: (Default)
Boo: *randomly wanders over and hugs me, puts his head right against my mouth*

Me: *kisses that boo head*

Boo: *halfheartedly* Stooooop thaaaaaat… *wiggles butt as if trying to escape while still holding on with arms*

Me: *more kisses*

Boo: Nuuuuuu, stop that you cutie.
sonneillonv: (Default)
Kid's TV Show: What does a guitar sound like?

Me: So, what DOES a guitar sound like?

Da Boo: Ummmmmm... like a drum!

Me: Like a drum? A guitar sounds like a drum?

Da Boo: *despite owning his own little guitar* I guess I don't know what a guitar sounds like.

Me: *plays YouTube video of what some dude thinks are the 10 best guitar solos ever* Is this what a guitar sounds like?

Da Boo: No! That's not what a guitar sounds like!

Me: Are you sure?

Da Boo: *comes over to see what's on my screen, sees it is obviously a guitar, puts hands over his ears* o_o Okay, I guess that IS what a guitar sounds like. Can you turn it off now?

Me: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE ROCK! *DEVIL HORNS* *cough* *goes back to Tumblr*
sonneillonv: Invader Zim Quote (Slytherin Doom)
A few days ago we got a letter from Job and Family Services saying our Medicaid coverage would be terminated on 4/30/12 because of non-compliance with the reapplication process. I made a confused phone call to Job and Family Services which basically amounted to, "But we were there two days ago. We brought all our paperwork. We were told we were in good shape with Medicaid and Food Stamps even though we had to opt out of TANF." The very nice woman on the phone said the letter was probably mailed before the appointment - because things are so hectic over there right now, what with 1/3 of their offices being shut down thanks to budget cuts and the remaining case load shuffled onto the other offices who, due to budget cuts, were not allowed to hire more people to deal with the additional work, the mailers can get a little off-schedule and mixed up.

I assured her I totally understood this and I hate our governor John Kasich for his retrofuck worship of Scott Walker, because they're the ones who thought severely slashing the mental health budget was JUST SUCH A SHINY PERFECT IDEA, and I'm not upset with JaFS, I just want to know if we have insurance.

"You're good," she assures me. "You totes have insurance. I'm looking at the notes and the notes say you're in full compliance and you're assigned these benefits."

So that's great, and my husband's burgeoning anxiety attack was averted.

Today my husband went to the store to pick up things. Among these things was his seroquel prescription for the next month. He's already out of pills and a little late getting in because my work schedule was unexpectedly hectic this week, due to my only teller coworker having a family emergency that required me to take his shifts. He gets there, they run his insurance.

Cancelled. You may have noticed it is NOT 4/30/12 yet. My husband's anxiety attack is now three times as severe as the first one.

Seroquel, even the generic kind, is $200 for a month's supply. Because we just had to opt out of TANF, we are operating at a little over $450 in DEFICIT every month. We are pulling from our savings until I get my second job, which, as I pointed out before, will mean working twelve-hour days three days a week. We attempted to donate plasma, but apparently I have superficial veins and Husband's meds change his blood chemistry too much.

Job and Family Services is not in on Saturdays or Sundays. The very earliest I could talk to them would be Monday. They will probably require us to undergo the full reapplication process, including submission of paperwork and appearance at mandatory appointments, which could take at least a week.

Husband is going to start physical withdrawal TOMORROW.

Seroquel is a class 2 controlled substance in the state of Ohio. Pharmacies, as far as I can tell, are not allowed to do a partial refill on class 2 controlled substances. Otherwise we'd try buying three or four pills and stretching them as far as we could. My understanding of class 2 controlled is that they must be filled exactly as the doctor prescribed them, anything else opens up the pharmacy to lawsuits. I am going there tomorrow to try to bargain with them anyway.

As a reminder, Husband has severe bi-polar disorder NOS (meaning atypical). Seroquel is basically the foundation of his entire med regimen. He cannot have antidepressants because they will trigger a manic phase. He cannot have anti-anxiety meds because they will trigger depression. At this point we are trying to decide which state is the least dangerous, with the possibility of intentionally medicating him onto whichever of his poles he can survive the longest. It's harder than you'd think. Anxiety is not depression, but when he is anxious he self-harms and is actively suicidal. Depression is terrible, severe depression (he's rated at 4x 'normal' severity, whatever the hell that means besides "Shit, you're DEPRESSED"), but the up-side is he is too depressed and listless to get the energy to commit suicide or cut himself. Unfortunately, our son fits into this equation. My husband is the one watching him during the day, and if he's in a haze of total depression or in a self-harming frenzy of anxiety, the boo will suffer. I have no choice - I have to work, because with a little hard work and effort and shiny bootstraps you can totes get ahead in life.

When I say that health care in the US is fucked up and broken, this is what I mean. Republicans and Libertarians accuse progressives of 'whining' about this shit. I am not whining. I am fully fucking enraged. I am ready to go on a fucking bender of destruction and tear the establishment down around their fucking ears. I want my family safe and healthy, damn it. I want my husband to get the fucking meds he needs to live some semblance of a worthwhile life! (Note here: I mean worthwhile TO HIM, since in both his severe BPD phases he becomes convinced life is not worth living.) I want the bigoted, privileged, smug, retrofuck dipshits who push tax cuts for 'job creators' while hacking away at the social safety net and fighting a racist and destructive 'war on drugs' and otherwise refusing to respect the bodily autonomy of anyone other than straight white able-bodied white men to die in a fucking chemical fire. I want to curse them with boils and sores and flesh-eating viruses. I want to see them rot from the inside. And I want to stand there and tell them, "No, you can't get any help, because YOU'RE FUCKING ASSHOLES who set this system into place and NOW YOU GET TO DIE BY IT, YOU WORTHLESS FUCKING SHIT STAIN. MAY YOUR FUCKING KARMA RETURN TO YOU."

But of course I cannot do this because of responsibilities.

So instead I rage on my journal, and on Tumblr.

And while objectively it doesn't do a bit of good, I love y'all for listening.

Fuck this. I need to pray. I need to go pray so hard.
sonneillonv: (Kill with my gun)
So. I'm probably getting a second job. This second job, if I get it, will require me to be at work at 6am three or four days a week, work until 11am, go to my other job at noon, and work there until 6:30. Twelve hour work days for me.

I have to do this for two reasons. A) I was rejected from giving plasma, and so was the husband. Apparently, my veins are superficial (there's a joke in there somewhere), and his BPD meds change his blood chemistry too much. B) The safety net in the United States of America is broken as shit. We were receiving $450 a month in TANF benefits (welfare), and we were still operating at a small monthly deficit. However, upon reassessment, I am making too much money to receive $450 a month. In fact, I am only eligible for $57 a month now. Except, I'm not working enough hours to receive the $57, so if I wanted it, I'd have to go work for Job and Family Services to get it.

So I'm not working enough hours, but I'm making too much money on my $10.20/hour salary.

Whatever, player.

LotR News

Apr. 2nd, 2012 12:06 am
sonneillonv: (fictional characters)
So, I haven't posted anything LotRO related in a long time, mostly because I have not played LotRO in a long time. But when I did play, I caught the Treasure Hunt event, which actually turned out to be pretty boring and frustrating IMHO, but other people seem to like it. I was lucky - on my very first try, I landed one of the best mounts you could win. Actually, I wanted the Cave Claw horse because I thought it looked cool. I think the Treasure-Laden Goat is really ugly. But it is one of the fastest mounts in the game, and as I ride along, coins fall out of the bags and bags of gold piled onto the goat.

Thus leading me to informally title this picture, They see me rollin' / They hatin'


Those two little round things behind the goat are the coins falling.

... Wow.

Mar. 27th, 2012 07:39 pm
sonneillonv: (Default)
From Think Progress:

Yesterday, Forbes’ Roger Friedman asked if Fox would pull Neighborhood Watch, an action comedy about overzealous neighborhood watchmen whose vigilance turns out to be justified when they have to battle an alien invasion.

Obviously, they're asking them if they'll pull it because it has unfortunate implications in the wake of Trayvon Martin's murder, but frankly, I see unfortunate implications even outside that context. Let me break it down for you -

This 'comedy' is about overzealous WHITE men (Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn lead the line-up, though the guys in the back seat do seem to be POC) policing their neighborhood to keep out undesirable aliens.



sonneillonv: (Default)
OMG this guy makes me blub. I so hope he goes into politics!

sonneillonv: (Default)
I just watched the first episodes of Legend of Korra.

sonneillonv: (Hekate)
What Americans need to realize is that the values that keep the rulers of the United States from doing things like forcing children to fight each other to the death are Christian values. The values that ended the death matches in Rome were Christian values. The values that ended slavery in England were Christian values. And, the values that should be crying out against such violence in movies like THE HUNGER GAMES are Christian values.

The values that led to the Crusades were Christian values. The values that led to the Inquisition were Christian values. The values that led to the Salem Witch Trials were Christian values. The values that led to slavery were Christian values. The values that lead to anti-Islam, anti-Pagan, and anti-GLBT policies and sentiment in local governments, schools, and businesses, are Christian values. The values of those waging an anti-choice war against women are Christian values. The values that cause people to viciously attack transgender people for the heinous crime of existing in public are Christian values. The values that lead to Creationism being taught in schools but no sexual education, therefore putting our children at risk of disease, pregnancy, abuse, and other severe reproductive health problems because they have no information, are Christian values. The values that enabled the cover-up and continuance of the abuse of millions of children in both Catholic and Protestant congregations because men of God should not have to deal with the consequences of their perversions... Christian values.

Do not fucking behave like Christians have the monopoly on morality. Don't try to sell me that bullshit. I will spit it back in your face. Plenty of Christians manage to be wonderful people despite the deity-sanctioned rape, slavery, genocide, and baby-killing in their holy book. Plenty of non-Christians manage to be wonderful people, who are appalled and disgusted by the idea of sentencing children to mortal combat for entertainment purposes, without having to be told to react that way by the Christian deity or by ANY deity. I don't need Hekate, Dionysus, Persephone, or Hermes to stand over my shoulder going, "Now, this is bad, so you must not do this." I can figure that out on my own. Both my cognition and my empathy function just fine without divine intervention.

If you really believe what you're shilling, I wonder, can you say the same?
sonneillonv: (going nowhere)
This is an entry without point or purpose. I don't need advice so much as I need to express myself.

Rambling under cut )
sonneillonv: Invader Zim Quote (Slytherin Doom)
So. We just lost our TANF benefits.

That's a budget cut of $450 a month.

We were already operating at a deficit.

We could still get $57 of benefits, but I'd have to go to work for JaFS for twelve additional hours on top of my current work schedule. Because, you see, I'm not working enough, but I'm being paid too much.

I will be doing ritual for this. I don't know what yet, but my impulses are... dark. And burning. Something has to change.

You want to know why I'm a progressive? You want to know why I'm passionate about social justice? You want to know why I push this shit until everyone around me is sick of it? This is why. Because I'm fucking living it.
sonneillonv: (Default)
Watching the premiere of "Good Christian Belles". You'd think with my background I'd be getting more schadenfreudian enjoyment out of this, but truthfully, all I can think is, "Oh. Another show about people who are so wealthy it makes me feel like shit."

EDIT: There's a difference between Rich People Who Make Me Feel Like Shit and Rich People. Bill Gates, for example, can live in a SPACE SHIP crafted to look exactly like the U.S.S. Enterprise and I wouldn't resent him for it because I'm pretty sure if I met him HE wouldn't make me feel like shit. So there's a difference.
sonneillonv: (Default)
Social Progressives, or Conservative Theologicals? This article is very biased, but also very well-cited and interesting.
sonneillonv: (Kill with my gun)
Apparently, women need our own personhood amendment. Please read and sign this Change.Org petition demanding that the government protect our legal rights as if we were human beings, not just incubators.


Mar. 8th, 2012 08:58 pm
sonneillonv: (Default)
At least they can still talk about being Takei in Utah.

sonneillonv: An Ye Harm None (Harm None)
Lady Yeshe Rabbit, who has been distinguishing herself in the Pantheacon Gender Controversy by apologizing for Z's trans*phobia all over the place, actually retired from Z's lineage over the issues raised at PantheaCon. Her explanation is at the link.

Even the improvements she plans to make for her new "Pan-Dianic" coven, the Bloodroot Honey Priestess Tribe, are problematic. She still insists on believing menstrual and childbirth mysteries are the exclusive province of women, as if trans* men don't exist. But she has set herself on the path of being more inclusive, and I can only hope that she continues on that path, and gets some education on trans* issues while she's at it. I feel like this entire controversy has been one hell of an education, being alternately explained, proclaimed, and outright spat from the mouths of Z's detractors, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. When you fight for social justice on the internet, you are never guaranteed that the people standing opposite you are paying any attention to what you're saying. I would like to believe that this schism is an indication that Lady Yeshe Rabbit was paying attention, but not knowing her personally, I couldn't say how long this split has been in the making.

Regardless, it's a step in a good direction. I have very cautious optimism that we may be seeing the rumblings of a larger response.


Mar. 7th, 2012 10:47 am
sonneillonv: (moved on)
So, apparently, the recent tornados which left at least 39 people dead in Minnesota were a direct sign from God.

Quoth John Piper: "Jesus rules the wind," the Bethlehem Baptist Church preacher affirmed. "The tornadoes were his."

Is it me, or does Jesus sound a whole lot like Set, what with the arbitrary chaos and wanton love of destruction? Also, I Kings 19:11-B,

"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind."

Just sayin'. But then again, I guess it's a whole lot less bothersome to equate Jesus to destructive storms than it is to consider that the activities of human beings are having an affect on the weather, which is growing more destructive with every passing year. Obvsly.


Mar. 6th, 2012 09:30 pm
sonneillonv: (Hekate)
The moon is waxing gibbous and as I drove to the grocery store (a witch is a witch all the time, after all), I started composing in my head a hymn to Hekate. I'm not the world's best with software, but I tried to record myself singing it. For most of you, this will be the first time you've heard me singing! If I sound a little weird and breathy, it's because A) I'm sitting very improperly and B) I'm singing very quietly because Jake is asleep.

Media Under Cut )
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